Top 10 reasons men don't get that second date

in on Jul 27, 2012 . 0 Comments.

Dating can be a tricky ol’ game, can't it? It’s not always as straightforward as it might appear, wooing the ladies. Those strapping-looking fellas that ooze charisma in movies and TV shows might make it look easy, but we all know the difficult reality. But the good news is - improving your love life is really quite achievable. The trick is to know where you're going wrong and learn to improve how you act when you're on dates. So if you struggle with the dating game and you want to start turning those first into second dates, third dates and beyond, we're here to help!

We've decided to unveil the top ten reasons that your date might not agree to that all-important second meet-up. If you spot one that sounds like something you do, try to adapt your behaviour. See if it helps. Anyway, without further ado...

  1. You lack self-confidence – This can be due to a wide range of reasons. Maybe you don't feel that you're that successful or well-off financially. It could be that you're often nervous in one-on-one situations. There could of course be body issues. Do you think you're good looking enough? Are you a bit flabby? Maybe you're worried that sexually, you might not measure up to her former partners (if that's the case, then obviously you've come to the right place – poke around our site and see what we can do to help...). Any of these things will come over to her and probably not appeal.
  2. Booze – Could be due to nerves, could be that you can't hold your beer. Could be that you just love a drink. Either way, if you're drunk on the first date, chance are – you ain't getting a second one... Stagger your beers, not your walk. There's nothing attractive about a slurring drunk. Unless she's drunk too, of course!
  3. Arrogance/rudeness – Now, obviously, you don't want to get caught looking at other women on your date, so don't be too cocky. Pretending to be confident and judging it wrong could look like arrogance too.
  4. Too nosy – You have to be careful, though. While not asking your date about herself will seem rude and most likely put her off you, the opposite isn't going to make you appeal to her all that much, either. Conversation should flow smoothly and be even. You don't need to bombard her with questions. You're getting to know each other, it isn't an interrogation!
  5. Badly dressed – You don't have to suddenly become a style icon and start running around clad in Hugo Boss suits all the time, but you should look your best. Shoes are especially important to a lot of women. Make sure yours sparkle.
  6. You don't offer to pick up the bill – Unless your particularly well-off, you needn't have to pick up every meal or drinks tab, but you certainly need to grab the first few. Or at least offer. If she wants to pay half, fine – no problem. But assuming she does can be a turn-off.
  7. Too full-on – We don't advocate stepping off and never laying down moves at all. After all, that's the lack of self-confidence thing we mentioned. But trying it on on the first date can back-fire massively. Taking things too quickly when it's not appropriate is one of the top reasons ladies ditch their overzealous dates.
  8. You go on about your ex too much – Now this is a cardinal sin. Don't be afraid to mention an ex, but whatever you do – don't drone on about her. After all, would you want to hear about her exes all the time? It doesn't matter if it's positive or negative, either. Keep mentions infrequent.
  9. Dodgy manners – You can be handsome, smartly-dressed, rich and funny. But if you're picking your nose and scratching your groin throughout the meal, you're going to end up struggling. What women wants to put themselves through a second meet-up like that?
  10. You're too much of a 'boy' – She probably knows you have mates and drink beers and watch rugby. That doesn't mean you have to go on about it, though. Save that stag weekend story about the naked dwarf until you know her a little better...

Now, all that might sound like navigating a date is all but impossible. But it isn't. You need to be relaxed and, we know it's a cliché but, you have to be yourself. But bear some of these pointers in mind. They could come in handy. Now, getting chatting to some ladies – good luck!

Last update: Jul 27, 2012

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